he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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