Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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