Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
