I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
