Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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