I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
