I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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