Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
