Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
