Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
