I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
