Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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