im having a threesome with these popsicles
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
