So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
