She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize