That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize