How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
