God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is it fun? or sober?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
