I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
