Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
