another moral hangover. fuck.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
