The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
