Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
