I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
