no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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