he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
