Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
