Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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