i just wanna soil my oats bro
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
