just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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