Non-Jews are for practice
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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