that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
