I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
