CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hippo gnu deer
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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