Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize