She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
