WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
