just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
