So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
