She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
