Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
