god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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