just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
