My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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