They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize