Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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