She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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