Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
