my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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