My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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