You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
