I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
