He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
only you would photoshop your dick
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize