I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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