She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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