idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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