i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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