I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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