Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
